Advice for disclosures around Past Traumas and Dramas

If you tried to kill yourself, had abusive parents, or had a nervous breakdown, and these pieces of histories might significantly affect your potential new relationships, you need to share these stories. Here the impacts may be less well understood than with other relationships or STIs.

We believe that even if you think your past won't affect your new relationship, it is still important to share your major past traumas. It is often difficult to measure where you are in a healing process. Healing from past traumas, especially sexual or childhood abuse, is often not a straight line but a series of setbacks and triumphs that continues for months, years, and even decades. It is far easier (for your partner, as well as yourself) to tell the story of being raped in college when you feel safe and connected to your partner than when you find yourself unexpectedly triggered during a sexual experience. You could be triggered in your new relationship by something completely unsuspected, or you could find this partner is just the salve you need to move forward with your healing process. Regardless, transparency remains the path, including being clear about any unknown aspects of past experiences and your healing journey.

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